Two Bears

Three little bowls, one empty. Three empty chairs, one mended. Three beds, one empty, one rumpled, in one sleeps my son.

In town my husband’s head hangs, snarling still, above her father’s mantle.


This post was written in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge  weekend prompt:

Give a re-telling of the classic Goldilocks and the Three Bears story.  You can change the setting, the characters, and whatever details you wish, but the story should still be recognizable to us.  Keep the spirit of the original work, but make it your own.  And for once?  You have no word limit.

I know it says “no word limit,” but I’m rather partial to the 33-word microstory. Plus, there are so many 3’s associated with this story, how could I do anything but?

21 responses to “Two Bears

  1. Snarling still…

    Like

  2. I am impressed with what you were able to convey is so few words.

    Like

  3. Wow! Short, but really good and to the point – and even a surprise ending!

    Like

  4. Very nice! I’ve recently found how hard it is to tell a story so shortly and so effectively. Congratulations.

    Like

    • Thank you. I find that the constraints of a small word limit focus my creativity – like forcing water through an ever-narrower pipe. It also makes me choose my words very carefully. It’s not always a rousing success, but it’s usually satisfying.

      Like

  5. So much said in a very economical use of words. Nice.

    Like

  6. oh! How sad. What a story told in so few words. Great job. 🙂

    Like

  7. I have the image of the father as murdered or as an adulterer and the child protected by her mama bear

    Like

    • That’s very close to what I had in mind. In my twisted head, Goldilocks’ father was a hunter, and that big ol’ papa bear scared his little girl. 🙂

      Like

  8. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that last line. I agree with the others, this has so much packed into to so very few words. This is a very creative and original response to the prompt. Thanks for sharing with us.

    Like

  9. Really beautifully done. I too love “snarling still.” Very unexpected angle for the story.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s