“You’re late, but I won’t hold it against you.” Martin looked the woman up and down, unimpressed. He held out one hand, not bothering to wipe it off, and waited. This was important.
Jean ignored the greeting and the smirk, but could not avoid the handshake, sharp edges pressing into her palm. His cologne was too strong, almost dizzying. She smiled, a cold baring of teeth.
The man in grey watched from the shadows. One of the pair was the turncoat; the other, his target. He saw them clasp hands. Was that the exchange? His gun wavered, steadied, fired.
This prompt, courtesy of Trifecta Writing Challenge, was quite a challenge for me.
Take a scene that involves (or affects) at least three people. You should then write this scene from the point of view of three of the characters, using 33 words for each character.
I wanted all three viewpoints to come across clearly, yet hang together in one story. Third person omniscient is not my forte. Please tell me, did it work?
Christine Hanolsy 
This actually caused me to gasp at the end … completely unexpected! I like the Trifecta/extras for how “easy” it is to exit my areas of writing comfort. You really hit this out of the park! I’d love to hear more too …
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Seriously?? Sweet! What a great accolade – making a reader gasp.
I love the Trifextra prompts for the same reason. It’s also a great way to experiment with compelling word combinations and “showing not telling.”
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I think this works both as an intriguing story and managing three points of view with an effortless flow. I’m glad I stopped by to read. I really like your approach to this prompt.
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Wow, many thanks! I’m glad you stopped by, too. No post from you this week? I was keeping an eye out…
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Two piano competitions with the kids kept me occupied over the weekend. I’m hoping to get it together for the week day challenge. Cheers:)
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I think you managed your voice and your three POV’s quite nicely. Love the noir-type stylings, too!
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Thanks, Cam – this style was way out of my comfort zone, which is part of what made it fun. It was a bit of a stretch for me to make it feel authentic and uncontrived.
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Yes, it worked — it worked perfectly. Three very distinct voices but all brought together expertly. I always enjoy clicking on your links and this one was no exception. Thanks for linking up.
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Oh, good – I’m glad you liked it! Thank you for the second-place win this week, and for the compliment.
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Looks like a spy exchange gone wrong! Nice suspense!
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That’s what I had in mind, pretty much. Thanks for coming by!
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Bang bang maxwell’s silver hammer … but then, that presumes that the man is the target.
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Exactly. I wanted to leave it ambiguous.
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ooooh – great beginning to a bigger piece.
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Thank you for the encouragement! I’m not sure I can come up with a whole story based on this – it’s not my usual genre – but it was fun to write.
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This was well done, the fear, the feared, and the follower… bravo!
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🙂 Nice alliteration there. Thanks for stopping by!
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I like this one! Suspenseful and intriguing in so few words.
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Thanks! I wasn’t sure I’d pulled it off.
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Yes, it did. It worked VERY well, and I would happily read a lot more of it. *nudge, wink, yes, that means keep going*
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Thank you! It was a real challenge for me – I tend to keep strictly to one perspective. I’m afraid I don’t have a continuation in mind as of yet, but you never know…
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