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I remember the days before the rebellion, before the great starships went away. Stinging drops etched the sands while we clung to fences, watching the ships leave. The shuffling of feet still reminds me of rain.
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This post is part of the Jade Dragon series. Though I try to make these installments enjoyable as individual pieces, I highly recommend that you read the series from the beginning to really get what’s going on.
This post was written in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge weekend Trifextra prompt:
We are giving you three words and asking that you add another 33 to them to make a complete 36-word response. You may use the words in any order you choose.
Our three words are: remember, rain, rebellion.
Now you give us yours.
This weekend’s challenge is community-judged! I encourage you to visit the Trifecta Writing Challenge site to read the other entries. Voting starts on Sunday at 6:00 PM Pacific (9:00 PM Eastern), and runs for 12 hours. You can choose – of course – up to three winners. I hope mine is one of them!
Christine Hanolsy 
Lovely, lovely. So much atmosphere, so few words.
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Stinging drops etched the sand – how perfect is that?
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Ah, just luvv the that last line. That on’es signature you 🙂
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🙂 I have a signature?? I am unduly pleased!
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You do too, a very distinct and impressive one 🙂
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Oh, now you’re just making me blush!
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🙂 pleased 😀
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Very full. Love the last line.
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Very well written!
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How beautifully you have painted this scene-the longing,the sadness,love it!
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You achieve so much with so few words. I saw the details of the scene and wanted more. This is, quite simply, very good writing.
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You’re just the second blogpost of this challenge I’ve read. Memory is what I thought of when I saw rain in the prompt. I like the way you are incorporating the prompts into a continuing story. http://annbennett2.blogspot.com
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Awesome, as always. I can hear the rainy feet (:
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Those lines have hooked me. Would love to read the series.
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Shuffling of feet, clinging to fences… foreboding images.
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This made me think of children at the docks waiting for the ships to sail into port. Beautiful.
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That last line was absolutely money. I heard the feet and the rain. That’s just great.
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What a sense of abandonment! And the rain of shuffling feet – fantastic!
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Clung to fences and shuffling feet…I can picture and hear those images now.
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Stellar job!! Love the etched sand. So nice!
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I feel all gritty and sad. Good job.
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Wonderful. I love this: Stinging drops etched the sands while we clung to fences,
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What a tight fist of emotions in this writing.
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Beautiful! I love that last line – it sums up the mood and emotion perfectly.
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Sounds the either the beginning or the end of an epic tale.
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Carefully-crafted rhythm to this episode…
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Forgive me but ET sprung into my head 😦 stinging drops etched the sand a vision (without ET) lovely
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There’s a sadness in “watching the ships leave.” The sense of loss is well portrayed.
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shuffling of feet – rain
I can hear that picture. 🙂
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oh my, oh wow. “the shuffling of feet still reminds me of rain”
what a haunting, expressive piece.
have a great weekend
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Beautiful. I love the sadness. Lovely.
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