Moonlight on the snow
Reflecting through our window.
Your pillow, untouched.
This post was made in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge weekend Trifextra prompt, in which the editors asked us for a haiku: an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually five, seven, and five syllables respectively.
I know haikus aren’t supposed to rhyme; that’s just how the words fell into place. I hope it’s no less enjoyable for that.
This really feels like a Japanese Haiku!
LikeLike
Thank you! I tried hard to match the style.
LikeLike
except for the rhyme as you said, but the mood does
LikeLike
When I realized it rhymed, I tried other word combinations, synonyms, etc., but it always felt forced. So I decided to leave it…
LikeLike
It’s really nice anyway:)
LikeLike
Oh, this is such sad, beautiful writing. Well done!
LikeLike
This speaks volumes. Touchingly beautiful!
LikeLike
Beautiful. Beautiful image. Sad.
LikeLike
In my mind, this is the winner. Trifecta should pick this as the winner.
LikeLike
Wonderful haiku. I like how moonlit snow doesn’t seem cold but, the untouched pillow does. Beautiful imagery. Very emotionally evocative.
LikeLike
This is one of the best entries I’ve read for week 83. Super.
LikeLike
i really love this. This is how it’s done 🙂
LikeLike
The snow, the pillow. Very poignant. Really liked this a lot.
LikeLike
Untouched , your pillow….
And that wud have been fun…
sorry..just kidding..the rhyme didnt take away the beautiful imagery nor the prick of pain.
LikeLike
The last line was especially sad.
LikeLike
Wow.. a whole story.. that last line really was a haiku – moment. One of my favorites this week
LikeLike
Gorgeous, Christine!
I get the sad, but it made me tap into angry resentment. Go figure.
LikeLike
I love this. So beautiful and sad. Well done!
LikeLike
Pingback: Haiku: GUARDIAN | merlinspielen
Congratulations on the win, Christine! You tap into the feel of loneliness so intimately.
LikeLike
Congrats on the win.
LikeLike
I loved this one. I like the imagery. I didn’t notice that the words rhymed until you pointed it out. That was not because I wasn’t paying attention but just because I was enjoying the words. Congratulations on your win.
LikeLike
you always get right to the heart of things, this is no exception.
again, I found my eyes filling with the force of your words and the ache that empty pillowcase would bring.
XO
LikeLike
Very beautiful and such strong imagery. Deserved 1st place, congratulations.
LikeLike
I love that you embraced the tougher aspects of the form: the nature imagery, and the statement at the end in reaction to the first two lines.
LikeLike
This haiku is one of my favorite things I’ve written in a long time. I love strict forms for the way they force us to be creative.
LikeLike