Dawn is
a bated breath
while I stand by the sea
fog collecting in my lashes
like tears

This little cinquain brought to you by yeah write’s March poetry slam!

9 responses to “Shipwatch

  1. The image of fog collecting made my own eyes teary. Beautiful imagery.


  2. I am really enjoying this! Write on, YeahWrite for the March poetry slam. I liked your closing image, tears in your lashes.


  3. Oh, this so put me out on the widow’s walk waiting for my captain to come home.


  4. This paints a solemn, tranquil image in my mind… Beautiful!


  5. Jennifer G. Knoblock

    Beautiful visuals. I am loving cinquains and wondering why I never worked with them before!


  6. Sheer beauty in your writing


  7. Beautiful. Simply beautiful.


  8. I love how the structure of the cinquain is such that “Dawn is” breaks for a pause… just like the bated breath in your next line. I really like the rhythm of your writing and you inspire me to pay closer attention to rhythm and line breaks in my own work.


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