Finders keepers

This garden promises solitude. The water glitters with koi, crimson sparks stolen from the sunset. Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. Soon there will be dancing. His hand will press against your back; his fingers will pluck the lily from your hair.

10 responses to “Finders keepers

  1. Wonderful use of synonyms! It’s a beautiful Microprose.


  2. You created a whole world in just a few words. I felt the moment she was feeling.


  3. Painted an amazing setting! Left me wanting more of it. I also wanted to know more of the evening which was going to happen. This is just me, but I wanted the ending to be happening and not an imagined thought of what will happen. Good work!


  4. I adore your ability to write romance, and I’m shamefully envious of your imagery. Especially this — “crimson sparks stolen from the sunset”.


  5. The words make the mood of this piece very romantic!


  6. Love the romance in the air.Koi and sunset are beautifully used.


  7. You really drew my imagination in with the beautiful descriptions! I just love this!


  8. I just bookmarked this for future “this is how to micro” help. “Crimson sparks stolen from the sunset” is so good.


  9. This was a lovely line: Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. I’d expected present tense in the last line, but it works as a promise of romance, too.


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