This garden promises solitude. The water glitters with koi, crimson sparks stolen from the sunset. Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. Soon there will be dancing. His hand will press against your back; his fingers will pluck the lily from your hair.
This was a lovely line: Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. I’d expected present tense in the last line, but it works as a promise of romance, too.
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I just bookmarked this for future “this is how to micro” help. “Crimson sparks stolen from the sunset” is so good.
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Eeee! You’re too kind. ❤
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You really drew my imagination in with the beautiful descriptions! I just love this!
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Love the romance in the air.Koi and sunset are beautifully used.
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The words make the mood of this piece very romantic!
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I adore your ability to write romance, and I’m shamefully envious of your imagery. Especially this — “crimson sparks stolen from the sunset”.
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Painted an amazing setting! Left me wanting more of it. I also wanted to know more of the evening which was going to happen. This is just me, but I wanted the ending to be happening and not an imagined thought of what will happen. Good work!
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You created a whole world in just a few words. I felt the moment she was feeling.
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Wonderful use of synonyms! It’s a beautiful Microprose.
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