Finders keepers

This garden promises solitude. The water glitters with koi, crimson sparks stolen from the sunset. Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. Soon there will be dancing. His hand will press against your back; his fingers will pluck the lily from your hair.


10 responses to “Finders keepers

  1. Wonderful use of synonyms! It’s a beautiful Microprose.

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  2. You created a whole world in just a few words. I felt the moment she was feeling.

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  3. Painted an amazing setting! Left me wanting more of it. I also wanted to know more of the evening which was going to happen. This is just me, but I wanted the ending to be happening and not an imagined thought of what will happen. Good work!

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  4. I adore your ability to write romance, and I’m shamefully envious of your imagery. Especially this — “crimson sparks stolen from the sunset”.

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  5. The words make the mood of this piece very romantic!

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  6. Love the romance in the air.Koi and sunset are beautifully used.

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  7. You really drew my imagination in with the beautiful descriptions! I just love this!

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  8. I just bookmarked this for future “this is how to micro” help. “Crimson sparks stolen from the sunset” is so good.

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  9. This was a lovely line: Down from the house drifts a faint melody, some etude or nocturne. I’d expected present tense in the last line, but it works as a promise of romance, too.

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