The things I forget are simple. Not your face,
Or the color of your eyes (blue, with hints
Of grey and gold, like the sea at dawn.)
I forget the sound of birds marking the dawn,
the taste of salt, the touch of sun on my face.
I forget the shape of us. You left me only hints:
The tree outside my window that hints
of tangled limbs; the deep shadows at dawn;
the clouds that hide the moon’s face.
I face the sea, scour it for hints of you. Dawn is just a simple thing.
A gauntlet was thrown among the YeahWrite editors: it’s a tritina slam this week! Check out the other entries on the fiction|poetry grid. (Click the badge below.)
Christine Hanolsy 
ughh, Christine, you are amazing! All the time. Loved how effortless you make tritinas seem. And how your words always make me sway in a rhythm of your making.
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Ah, there’s that music again. It’s always music that I hear when I read your work. Were you, perchance trained as an instrumentalist or singer of some sort? As a child, maybe? LOVE it.
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Music major, actually. 🙂 (Composition, and a whole bunch of choral singing.) Thank you, my dear. This was very kind. ❤
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AHA! I KNEW it. I *always* recognize my own kind. (Voice here – and piano, because they made me).
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Someday I want to write an opera. You know, I’m my spare time.
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I’m here for that. All day.
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This made me feel like I was standing on a beach with the sun coming up, missing someone. Lovely.
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I agree — loveliness in every line. *Mwah*
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You are so perfect at this, it’s intimidating! Beautiful, as always.
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The contrast you made between these detailed descriptions of dawn and that last line made for a cymbal-crash of an ending.
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I love that this is both simple and profound. I really enjoyed how you wove the word “hints” into every stanza.
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Thank you! “Hints” was the hardest one to work naturally into this form. I’m glad it worked for you.
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I liked the theme of simple – simple things, simple images. Of course, the third stanza shows how you can make something simple so beautiful.
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Loved your poetry, Christine! I wish I could write that way..to express similar feelings I keep hidden in a closet in my heart!
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Oops! Saw Asha’s comment and forgot whose I was commenting on. But this did have a feel of being seaside.
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I figured as much. And I can’t complain about being mixed up with Asha. She’s one of the most beautiful writers I know.
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I wondered what sort of poem you would write from poolside. 🙂 I feel it here.
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Haha! Thank you. If I were poolside, I might write a happier poem, maybe!
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Your love poetry is so elegant, so full of longing. It’s always so lush.
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