Love is finite, like the stars
incalculable, like rain in the cup
you left on the back step
where you used to stab out cigarettes
where you kissed me
under the stars and counted
seconds between breaths
minutes between your name and mine
arguments between conversations
accusations that overflowed
our hearts like rain in the cup
you left behind
like stars, incalculable
like love, finite
when it spills over the edge
and away
Christine Hanolsy 
The turn before “where you kissed me” is effective. the ashes imagery smudges into it nicely. Also thought “arguments between conversations” paints a complete picture in 3 words. “under the stars” seemed like an untouched cliche to me. maybe I missed something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked it a lot, too. Especially the way you use the often heard saying that love is infinite (at least in its “original”, “divine” form or whatever) as some sort of mental backdrop for your somewhat outrageous claim of the opposite being the case.
And in what seems to me an effortless manner (wherefore I assume it by no means wasn’t, herin lies the art, or part of it) you conjure up these few everyday scenes/imagery from which it follows, almost quite logically, that love is, indeed, finite.
Wonderfully written!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 The point of the exercise, as it was given, was to subvert a metaphor – turn something on its head. I’m not sure I got it exactly right but I think it’s going in the right direction…
LikeLike
I loved how you can back round to the start, using the same phrases differently. It made me read it again, specifically to catch all the echoes.
LikeLike
This is gorgeous! I loved your use of finite at the beginning and end and they ebb and flow of the concrete and metaphorical.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤ Thank you! I'm not super comfortable with free verse, so it's nice to hear someone liked it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person